


it takes so much tremble to love

by echoes_of_realities



Category: Glee
Genre: (really briefly lol), Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Post 3x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoes_of_realities/pseuds/echoes_of_realities
Summary: “So where are we going for this date?” Brittany asks.“It’s a surprise,” Santana says, grinning at the thought of what she has planned.“Is it a carwash?” Brittany deadpans.Santana gasps and glares at her in mock insult. “As if I’d take you on a date to a carwash.”Brittany shrugs. “Why else would you pick me up in a dirty truck?” she teases.Or: Now that Santana knows that this whole thing they’ve been doing since the summer was dating, she has the perfect plan to take Brittany out on their official first date where they both know that they’re girlfriends.





	it takes so much tremble to love

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who’s finally back :)
> 
> I just finished the last semester of my degree (which is So Weird) and wrote this to get me back into the Groove of writing again! I’m planning on finishing off the last seasons fic next before I move onto Longer fics!!
> 
> The excerpt and title is possibly my all time favourite quote from Andrea Gibson. (I have half a mind to do a Small Series based on my favourite quotes by her tbh……)
> 
> Cross-posted to Fanfiction and Tumblr.

**** _call in your royal heart_

_tell it bravery cannot be measured by a lack of fear_

_it takes guts to tremble_

_it takes so much tremble to love_

_every first date is a fucking earthquake_

— Andrea Gibson, “Royal Heart”

 

* * *

 

Santana borrows her cousin’s truck because he owes her for that time she didn’t tell his mom that he went on a bender last Easter instead of coming to dinner with the family; Santana never forgets when people owe her favours.

It’s this dusty old pickup with fading red paint and mud up the sides from a surprise autumn rain a couple days ago. The windshield is cracked in about four places and Santana worries a bit because she’s pretty sure that it will completely shatter if it gets hit another rock. The passenger door sticks more often than not and the backseat behind the driver’s side has a long rip in it that Santana would rather not think about. Teenage boy garbage covers the floor and Santana grumbles as she cleans it all out, wrinkling her nose as she finds a pair of panties that definitely don’t belong to her cousin. She carefully extracts them with her hands wrapped in paper towel and seriously debates burning the fabric off and replacing it for tonight. She eventually decides against it (but only because they don’t have a fire pit in the backyard) and adds using industrial level disinfectant to her mental _To Do_ list. She stares at the plastic dancing Hawaiian girl bobblehead stuck to the dash and immediately decides it has to go. Not just for her intended purposes, but because its possibly the worst thing in the entire truck, including Jane Doe’s panties back there. She’s just tossing the bobblehead in the garbage when she realizes the time and curses, haphazardly finishing up before hurrying inside to get ready.

Her mom is in the process of pulling on her shoes to head to work for the first night shift of her rotation and Santana gives her a cursory greeting as she heads further into the house, having every intention of immediately jumping in the shower so her mom can’t question her.

“Where are you going with Gabriel’s truck?” her mom asks as she’s halfway in the clear.

“Oh,” Santana says blankly, pausing in the living room. She kind of forgot about this part. “Uh, Britt and I are, um—”

Something’s looking out for her because her mom’s phone rings at that exact moment, giving Santana precious few seconds to think up a solid idea.

Her mom sighs as she hangs up on a telemarketer and shoves her phone back in her pocket, turning back to pulling on her running shoes before glancing up at Santana expectantly.

“Britt and I wanna go to the mall and movies. And then to sleepover at her house later,” Santana says easily, lying right through her teeth, “And since you’re working tonight and Brittany’s car is in the shop, Gabriel said I could borrow his truck since he’s out of town with his girlfriend for the weekend.”

“Okay,” Maribel says skeptically, having listened to people lie at triage for most of her adult life. She knows what teenagers are like, but she’s running a little late and doesn’t have time for an argument with the most stubborn teenager she’s ever known right now (and, okay, the stubborn thing is probably Maribel’s own fault, but she ignores that fact). At the very least Brittany will be with her daughter, and Maribel trusts her with Santana’s wellbeing because she has a good head on her shoulders; has every since her and Santana got lost at the mall when they were eight and she went and found an employee to help them while Santana just cried into Brittany’s shoulder. 

She sighs and checks her watch. She does really need to get going. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Maribel finally concedes, stepping forward to give Santana a quick hug and kiss on her forehead.

“Yes, mamí,” Santana says obediently, having no intention of listening.

Maribel shakes her head as she turns to leave, listening to Santana scamper down the stairs with suspicious eagerness. 

_Teenagers._

//

Santana forgot about the mud until she’s heading out the door to pick Brittany up, cursing under her breath because she definitely doesn’t have time to take it through the carwash. Which means she’s going to have to pick up her girlfriend for their first official date—the first one where they both know it’s a date because now they _both_ know they’re dating—in a dirty old truck.

She debates calling a taxi, but dismisses the idea immediately. This whole date thing hinges on Santana having her own vehicle, even if it’s muddy. She tosses her stuff in the backseat on the passenger side, out of sight of curious blue eyes, before quickly rounding the truck. She’s not going to be late or anything, but she hurries because it’s been three whole hours since she last saw Brittany and that’s far too long.

As she drives to the Pierce’s house, she resigns herself to the fact that this whole first official date thing is going to happen in a muddy truck.

She just hopes Brittany doesn’t notice.

//

Brittany notices. 

Santana spots her heading out of the house and quickly bounces out of the driver’s seat, stumbling a little because she’s not used to exiting vehicles so high. She greets Brittany with a shy smile because Brittany is _beautiful_ in her jeans and sweater and beanie and that knowing smirk of hers. Santana makes a small fool of herself as she yanks the door open and gives Brittany a mock bow when the door finally cooperates, delighting in Brittany’s bright giggles.

She only got out to open the door because she knows the trick to getting it unstuck and Brittany doesn’t, and maybe because she wants to check Brittany out a little bit, but not for any other reason at all. Definitely not.

(Okay, fine, maybe the real reason is that she’s trying to be a gentlewoman because that’s what girlfriends do, right? She’s still new to this whole thing and she can’t think of anything worse than all those smarmy teenage boys doing the same thing on the first date and expecting something in return for being polite but this— This is different. Because Brittany is already her girlfriend and Santana’s pretty sure that this is, like, the chivalrous thing to do or whatever and— And, well, the quick kiss Brittany gives her cheek kind of makes Santana want to follow Brittany around and open all her doors for her forever, cause, that part is kind of really, really nice.)

Once Brittany’s settled Santana lets her close the door herself because she knows that Brittany hates it when people close car doors for her, ever since that boy in sophomore year who did just that and caught her foot in the door. Brittany had to miss dance class for almost two weeks because of the bruise and the boy started to skip English class because of how much Santana glared at him.

Santana rounds the truck and climbs into the driver’s seat and smiles softly at Brittany. She really _really_ wants to kiss her senseless right now because she’s so adorable in that beanie, but it’s still light out and Santana can feel the familiar churn of fear in her stomach at the thought of the Pierces seeing her kissing their daughter in their driveway. She forcefully pushes the fear away and pulls out of the Pierce’s driveway, knowing that everything will soon fade away in Brittany’s comforting presence. 

“So where are we going?” Brittany asks, and Santana forces herself to not even glance in Brittany’s direction because she just _knows_ she’ll cave and tell her with just one look at Brittany’s killer pout.

“It’s a surprise,” Santana says, grinning at the thought of what she has planned (and ignoring the lingering butterflies because, seriously, Brittany’s already her girlfriend, you’d think they’d calm down just a little). 

“Is it a carwash?” Brittany deadpans.

Santana gasps and glares at her in mock insult. “As if I’d take you on a date to a _carwash_.”

Brittany shrugs, her blue eyes sparkling bright and teasing in the evening light, the sunbeams streaming in through the window behind her turning her hair to spun gold. “Why else would you pick me up in a dirty truck?” she teases.

Santana groans and resolutely doesn’t glance at Brittany, knowing she’s failing to fight her smile as Brittany giggles and continues to tease her from the passenger seat.

Brittany waits until the exact moment they pass the _Thank you for visiting Lima_ sign before casually reaching over to grab Santana’s hands in hers. She brings it up to her lips for a quick kiss before settling their clasped hands in her lap, absently playing with Santana’s fingers as she fiddles with the radio.

Santana’s pretty sure she’s never loved Brittany more than she does in that moment.

//

Brittany grows more curious the further they drive from Lima, and Santana is secretly glad that Brittany has such an awful sense of direction because otherwise she would definitely guess where they’re going. Santana just grins as Brittany turns confused eyes on her once they’ve been driving for almost forty minutes, sealing her lips and stroking the back of Brittany’s hand with her thumb.

It’s not until the lake comes into view that Brittany sits up a little straighter, glancing sidelong at Santana with wide eyes. “You didn’t,” she gasps.

Santana shrugs. “My aunt has a cabin out here,” she explains, biting back a smug grin for planning possibly the best official first date in the history of the world, “She doesn’t care if we use it.”

Brittany shakes her head, eyes glowing softly as Santana turns off the highway and chicken trails across the backroads she still remembers from childhood trips out here. “You,” she says simply, shaking her head. Santana knows that Brittany really wants to kiss her now, but she’s driving on dirt roads now and trying to make sure she takes the right turns. Instead, Brittany just lifts their still clasped hands and presses a long kiss to Santana’s knuckles, never taking her eyes off the girl in the driver’s seat. Santana spares Brittany a glance, smiling widely and knowing that, despite how many mistakes and stumbling steps she’s taken over the last couple years, she definitely got this one right.

//

Santana parks to the side of the driveway, under a tree that still has most of its orange and red leaves clinging to its branches, and out of sight of the main road; she’d rather not advertise that there’s anyone here to random passerbys.

“We’re here,” Santana says unnecessarily. Brittany unbuckles her seatbelt and before Santana can blink she has a lapful of her girlfriend and soft lips pressed against hers. Santana sighs at the welcome feeling, having not been able to kiss her girlfriend since Brittany picked them up for school that morning. Brittany’s hands are cupping her jaw to tilt her face for a better angle and Santana just submits to Brittany’s direction, sliding her own hands up Brittany’s thighs and around to her back until she can scratch softly at Brittany’s skin under her shirt. Brittany shivers and kisses her harder, both of them lost in each other until a horn honking startles them apart.

It takes a moment for them to realize it was Brittany who accidentally scared them, and they both giggle against each other’s mouth as their lips find each other again.

“Hi,” Brittany mumbles against her mouth.

Santana’s laughter vibrates their lips as she slides her hands along Brittany’s back, revelling in the stretch of warm skin under her palms. “Hi,” she manages to mutter in between kisses, “I missed you.”

Brittany laughs against her jaw as she trails kisses across her skin. “You saw me, like, all day.”

“I know,” Santana whines, guiding Brittany back to her mouth, “But—” 

“Yeah,” Brittany whispers just before recapturing her lips, “Me too.”

It takes them long moments to finally break away from each other, and even longer moments for them to untangle and get out of the truck. The autumn air is unseasonably warm and the leaves crunch under Santana’s sneakers as she hopes out. She kind of has a feeling that this date will probably be perfect. 

She’s already collected the duffle bag of their clothes (they’ve been best friends—and now girlfriends—for so long that they always have necessary stuff at each other houses, so Santana just packed for Brittany and delighted in how domestic it felt) from the backseat by the time she realizes that Brittany is still sitting in the passenger seat, staring down at the door handle in confusion.

Santana chuckles at the look on her face, slinging the duffle bag strap over her shoulder before she comes to Brittany’s rescue. The door finally yanks open on the fourth tug and sends Santana stumbling backwards a little bit.

“Well that was rude,” Brittany says to the door. Santana just grins and slams it shut, locking the truck before grabbing Brittany’s hand and leading her to the cabin. The path winds around to the front door that overlooks the lake, and Brittany stares around in awe at how pretty the place is; Santana just stares in awe at Brittany and tries to fight the butterflies trying to crawl up into her throat.

Santana’s hands are shaking and she doesn’t even realize it until Brittany stops them. She gently guides Santana to face her and takes both of Santana’s hands in hers. They halt on the dirt road; the absence of gravel crunching under their feet makes the peaceful night sound shockingly silent. A small tendril of fear races up the back of Santana’s neck as she realizes how horror-movie-y this could get. 

“You’re trembling,” Brittany whispers. She stills Santana’s hands and presses their foreheads together, just letting Santana breathe her in until she’s settled again. “Why are you nervous?” Santana shrugs a little, sighing when Brittany presses a soft kiss to her lips. 

“This is like, you know, kind of a big deal,” Santana murmurs when they pull apart.

“We’ve been on hundreds of dates before,” Brittany soothes, releasing Santana’s hands only to slowly trail her warm palms up and down Santana’s arms.

“I know but I never— I mean this time it’s—” Santana struggles to articulate herself before shrugging and dropping Brittany’s gaze. “This time I _know_ that for sure and I don’t want to fuck it up.” 

When she finds the courage to meet Brittany’s eyes, they are so warm and soft that Santana melts into them. Brittany lifts one hand to cup Santana’s jaw, tilting her head back until she can kiss Santana long and gentle and deep.

“I love you,” she whispers as soon as she pulls away, “so much.”

Santana swallows thickly and smiles, amazed that this girl is somehow inexplicably and completely _hers_. “I love you, too.”

Brittany’s smile is small but her eyes shine, bright and adoring, in the evening sunlight. “Tonight will be perfect because we’re both here, so just breathe and relax, okay?”

Santana nods and quickly presses a chaste kiss to Brittany’s lips before drawing back and taking one of Brittany’s hands again.

“You know,” Brittany says conversationally as they continue down the driveway, “you couldn’t fuck it up even if you did take me to the carwash.”

Santana sputters a laugh and elbows Brittany’s side, right where she’s the most ticklish, and grins as Brittany giggles and tries to dance out of the way.

“Careful, you’re going to give me second date ideas,” Santana warns.

Brittany glances up with a grin so hopeful that Santana falls in love all over again. “I can’t wait.”

//

Brittany gasps as they walk in the front door, taking in the living room that’s decorated like it’s the height of the nineties. “It’s so tacky I love it!”

Santana giggles and directs Brittany to the bathroom when she asks. She used to spend summer weekends out here with Gabriel and their other cousins while her mom worked and Gabriel’s parents went on business trips all over the country. Her and Gabriel used to share a room when they stayed out here and they were by far the closest out of all their cousins. Sometimes she misses those days when everything was simple and her greatest wish in the world was that she could bring Brittany out here too because she would have loved the lake. 

Now, even after so much has changed, she finally gets to fulfill that greatest wish from when she was a kid, and she’s almost giddy with excitement.

Gabriel already stocked up the fridge for her with food and alcohol. She grins, glad that he was dumb enough to let slip why he wasn’t coming home for Easter last spring and that she was smart enough to save that little tidbit of information until now. He thinks she’s just throwing a party with some of her friends not bringing her girlfriend out for a romantic date night, so there’s probably too much of everything in the fridge, but Santana figures she’ll just leave it for Gabriel when he inevitably brings his girlfriend around next weekend.

The cabin is their cool aunt’s, the one who is always travelling and bringing back wild trinkets and even wilder stories. She’s cool with her nieces and nephews using the place for whatever they want so long as it stays in one piece, and while Santana has never taken advantage of it before—because the Lopezes only have one car and she can’t imagine her mom would be cool with her taking their old Honda Civic all the way out here without adult supervision—she’s glad that her aunt gave all the nieces and nephews keys to this place years ago, and even more glad that her and Gabriel are the only ones still in Lima that are old enough to use this place. 

She’s still looking through the fridge when two strong arms wrap around her and a chin finds its rest on her shoulder. Santana grins and sinks back into Brittany’s embrace, tangling their fingers together. “Whatcha doing?” Brittany asks, kissing Santana’s jaw as they look through the fridge together.

“Figuring out supper,” Santana answers. Brittany hums and Santana wonders if she adores how domestic this feels too. “I didn’t tell Gabriel exactly what I was doing out here so he apparently stocked the fridge for a party.”

Brittany giggles into Santana’s ear before nuzzling it with her nose. “I’m good with sandwiches.”

Santana grins and nods. “Good, because we’re having a picnic.”

Brittany gasps and wiggles in excitement behind her, and Santana just grins harder.

//

“I wanna go swimming,” Brittany announces after they’re finished eating.

They’re sprawled on the grass at the end of her aunt’s lawn, the retaining wall just a few feet away to separate the grass from the sand cooling in the setting sun. It’s still surprisingly warm, but her and Brittany are still cuddling close together under the spare blanket Santana found in a closet. It smells of mothballs and dust, but it keeps their body heat trapped between them and makes the evening feel even warmer. The sun has already dipped below the far shore of the lake in the distance, turning the trees miles away completely black in the growing night, the pink of the setting sun on the water already faded into inky darkness. 

Santana laughs and shakes her head. “The water’ll be fucking freezing, Britt-Britt. Plus we don’t have swimsuits.” 

Brittany throws the blanket off her shoulders and stands up so abruptly that Santana falls over into her now vacated spot. “Who says we need swimsuits?” she teases, and before Santana can respond there’s a shirt covering her head. She sputters as she emerges from beneath Brittany’s growing pile of clothes, her protests getting caught in her throat as she takes in the sight of Brittany in the moonlight, her skin glowing like porcelain and her hair wild and staticky.

Santana’s about to say something else—or swallow her tongue, most likely—when a bra hits her in the face. She groans and hears a splash, scrambling up to stare at the ripples disturbing the otherwise smooth surface of the lake. Brittany comes up laughing and gasping for air a couple feet from the end of the old wooden dock, turning over to float on her back with a satisfied chuckle.

“You’re going to catch hypothermia and die, Britt!” Santana shouts, “And then I’ll have to somehow explain to your parents why you got naked in the middle of nowhere! And then I’ll die of embarrassment!” 

“Then you better come and warm me up before that happens,” Brittany calls back, all seduction and suggestion and Santana has no clue how she lost control of this date so quickly.

Santana curses under her breath, but already knows she’s going to join Brittany because she’s not strong enough to ever say _no_ to her. She grumbles to herself even as her face flushes under Brittany’s appreciative wolf whistles. The cool night breeze makes goosebumps rise up all her body over before she’s even touched the water that she knows will be absolutely freezing.

“Only you’re crazy enough to jump into a lake in November,” Santana complains as she hurries down to the dock, half-way hoping that Brittany will climb out and she won’t have to actually jump in the water. 

Brittany eyes her appraisingly and smirks knowingly. “And only you’re crazy enough to join me.”

Santana shakes her head and barks out a laugh before bracing herself. Brittany starts cheering her on like the complete goof she is, her voice echoing across the silent lake around them, and then Santana is jumping through the air and cursing herself for actually doing this.

She comes up shrieking and sputtering. “ _Fuck_ that’s cold!”

Something brushes her lower back and she panics as she spins around and ends up shoving Brittany underwater in her terror. Brittany emerges unfazed but Santana’s eyes are wide and guilty. “Jeez, Britt, I didn’t mean to—”

Brittany stops her with sure hands at her waist and warmth in her eyes. Santana shivers but it has nothing to do with the freezing water. “I knew that would happen,” Brittany grins easily.

Santana sucks in a sharp breath and gets a little lost in Brittany’s eyes, dark and inky like the twilight sky in the pale light of the moon. “Still,” she says absently, trailing her fingers across Brittany’s collarbone and wanting to cover it in kisses. She realizes with delight that she can, and is thankful Brittany’s such a strong swimmer and treads water for them both as Santana ducks forward to nip gently at Brittany’s skin. Brittany gasps above her, hands sliding to hold Santana more firmly as she keeps their heads above water. “Sorry,” Santana mumbles against Brittany’s soft skin.

Brittany makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat in acknowledgement. Santana smirks into Brittany’s neck as she trails her lips up to Brittany’s ear, finally having regained control of the date.

Or, at least she thinks she has until Brittany’s hands slide up her back to her shoulders and dunks her under the water.

“ _Brittany Susan Pierce you are so dead_!”

Brittany just giggles as she flees.

//

Eventually, they both grow accustomed to the chill but Santana manages to coax Brittany out of the water before they turn into icicles. 

Both of their teeth are chattering by the time they get back to the sprawl of food and clothes on their picnic blanket. Brittany grabs the one they were using to cuddle under earlier and wraps it around her shoulders before opening her arms to Santana.

Santana doesn’t hesitate to step into Brittany’s embrace, their cold skin against each other doing nothing in terms of warming them up. “S’cold,” Santana mumbles, burying her face in Brittany’s chest.

Brittany hums and hugs Santana tighter. “We could have a warm bath,” she suggests.

Santana shakes her head and snakes her arms around Brittany’s torso. “No tub. Hot shower and fire?”

Brittany kisses the top of Santana’s head. “That sounds perfect. But we’ll have to actually move for that.”

Santana sighs and shakes her head, nuzzling against Brittany and dropping a soft kiss to the top of her breast. “Don’t wanna,” she whines childishly.

She can feel Brittany smile against the top of her head and it makes her feel warm inside—she’s still fucking freezing on the outside though. “You go get the shower running, I’ll clean up here.”

“But this was my date,” Santana protests half-heartedly, “I should be the one cleaning up and—” Soft lips on hers cut her off as Brittany quickly soothes her worries.

“And you did all this work already,” Brittany whispers as she pulls back, “So it’s my turn.” Santana sighs and concedes, letting Brittany wrap the blanket more fully around her before bending to grab the picnic blanket and wrapping it around herself. “Now go,” Brittany teases as she smacks Santana on the ass, “I expect there to be steam coming out of that bathroom when I get there.”

Santana just giggles as she hurries back to the cabin.

//

The shower ends up taking longer than probably necessary because, once Santana’s fingers aren’t completely frozen, she kind of can’t keep her hands off her girlfriend, which is totally okay because Brittany can’t either.

They dress up in the pjs and Cheerios hoodies Santana packed. Brittany makes them hot chocolate because she makes it the best, and Santana goes out to start the fire. Her aunt has two fire pits, one down in the grass and one on the deck surrounded by smooth wooden benches. She opts for the one on the deck and hunts for cushions in the storage box beside the house. She pulls out the fluffiest cushions and pillows and arranges them in the corner of the benches, still close enough to the fire that they’ll be nice and warm, piling the blankets she brought out on top. There’s roasting sticks hidden in the box too that Santana pulls out and sets on one of the other benches, hoping that Brittany doesn’t notice them. She finds dry wood around the side of the house and grabs a couple logs and stuff for kindling that’s tucked in beside the logs.

The fire is warm and strong by the time Brittany wanders out onto the deck, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in each hand and a bag of marshmallows under the other. Santana pouts as soon as she sees Brittany’s treasure.

“Those were supposed to be a surprise,” she whines.

Brittany chuckles and holds the mugs away from her body as she leans in to place a long, soft kiss against Santana’s lips. “They were,” she promises, “But I figured this would save you a trip inside.”

Santana sighs and concedes to Brittany’s logic and kisses. “I guess that’s fine,” she mumbles. Brittany laughs and pulls away. She sets the mugs down and crawls onto the cushions, pulling one blanket around her shoulders and stretching out so Santana can settle between her legs. The pass the mugs of hot chocolate back and forth as they settle and Santana pulls the second blanket over their legs, both of them deciding to save the marshmallows for after they’ve finished their hot chocolates without having to say a single word. 

“This is nice,” Santana says as she sinks into Brittany’s embrace, but what she really means is _I wanna do this forever_. 

Brittany just hums in agreement and tightens her arms around Santana. They sip their hot chocolates and watch the fire dance, gossiping and making fun of their classmates and stealing chocolatey kisses. 

“I’ve been thinking about coming out,” Santana says suddenly, and her whole body tenses for a moment in Brittany’s arms until she feels a soft kiss against her temple.

“Yeah?” Brittany murmurs, and there’s so much patience and no pressure in the single word that Santana breathes out in relief.

“Yeah,” she whispers, watching sparks fly high into the sky, a flicker of defiant brightness against the darkness. “Not to— Not to everyone. But to— To my mom,” she says quietly.

Brittany lifts a hand to brush Santana’s dark hair to the side, her lips finding the skin of Santana’s neck, fire-warm and smooth. She presses a long kiss there before nuzzling her nose against the hinge of Santana’s jaw. A tension melts out of Santana that she didn’t even realize was there.

“And maybe, like, Mercedes,” Santana finally continues. “And I think— Gabriel would be— You know.”

Brittany sighs, soft and content, against Santana’s skin. “I’ll be right there with you,” she promises quietly.

“Yeah?” Santana whispers, her voice cracking a little.

“Always,” Brittany promises, “My brave, brave girl.”

Santana sucks in a sharp breath and lets it out slowly. Most of the time she doesn’t feel very brave, but with Brittany’s arms around her she feels a little bit bigger, a little bit stronger, a little bit more like the person she thinks she could be. “I’m glad that you’re insides match your outsides again,” Brittany admits quietly, “That you’re starting to show everyone your awesomeness.” 

Santana sighs and snuggles further into Brittany. “Well, with a girlfriend like you I’ve got be pretty damn awesome.”

Brittany snorts and kisses the top of Santana’s head. “Jerk.”

“Your jerk,” Santana says cheekily. 

Brittany rolls her eyes fondly and pinches Santana’s side, causing her to spasm and giggle in surprise. “Yeah,” Brittany finally says when Santana tips her head back to grin up at her, “my jerk.”

Santana’s eyes soften and she knows Brittany can see the sincerity and gratitude in them. She’s overcome with love for this girl holding her, with the fact that she’s her best friend in the whole world, with the fact that they can switch from serious to goofy and back again in the span of a few minutes, with the fact that Santana loves her with her entire being. 

With the fact that she’s finally able to love her and be loved in return without the fear and the self-hate and the shame of sophomore and junior year; in fact, loving Brittany just might be the one thing that she is the most proud of in her whole life.

Brittany leans forward and kisses Santana firmly, upside down like Spiderman, and Santana can feel Brittany’s smile all the way to her bones. 

//

Santana is only half awake as Brittany coaxes her up to stumble to the bedroom. She manages to find the duffle bag and locate her toothbrush, sleepily brushing her teeth as she waits for Brittany to finish putting the fire out. Brittany joins her a couple minutes later, far more awake than Santana is. She tickles at Santana’s elbow and gently shifts her to the side so she can brush her teeth too.

Santana smiles dreamily as she finishes, wrapping herself around Brittany’s from behind and nuzzling against her shoulder blade, making brushing her teeth decidedly more difficult for Brittany. She doesn’t complain, just pats at Santana’s arms as she leans forward to spit and finish up. 

She guides Santana back to the bedroom, flicking off lights as they go, her hands warm and firm with intent against Santana’s waist, and Santana yawns and desperately tries to wake herself up more.

“I’m sorry I’m so—” her apology is interrupted by another yawn, making Brittany giggle as she guides them onto the bed, “sleepy.”

Brittany ducks her head down from where she hovers above Santana, pressing a trail of sucking kisses along Santana’s jaw. “I’ll wake you up,” she promises. Santana smiles and lazily runs her hands down Brittany’s back. 

She has no doubt about that.

//

Santana wakes up to blonde hair in her mouth. She sleepily swats at her mouth to get it out and immediately curls further into Brittany’s side, yawning against her neck and smiling when Brittany grumbles in her sleep and tugs Santana closer, tangling them up in each other even more.

It takes her a moment, to remember where they are because neither of them have curtains that ugly. Her aunt is awesome and always brings her cool stuff from her travels, but she has godawful taste in patterns. 

Brittany seems to sense Santana is awake far too early, because she turns further towards Santana and nuzzles into her hair, sighing out a deep breath and tightening her arms around Santana so she can’t escape. 

Santana grins at the move, because as if she’d ever want to leave Brittany’s embrace. The sun is only just creeping up the sky and they don’t have to be back in Lima until the afternoon when her mom will wake up before her next night shift start to worry, so Santana just sighs and closes her eyes, nuzzling into Brittany’s bed-warm skin.

She can’t wait for thousands of mornings, just like this one, where there’s no worried parents to deal with.

Except they’ll have better taste in home decor. 

 

 


End file.
